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One Filker's Week

Words and alternative music copyright ©2000 by Blake Hodgetts
(Parody of the Barenaked Ladies' hit song, "One Week" -- but I wrote
my own music to the same lyrics as an alternative, thinking I might use that to record it)

I've got
One week left to write this filk
Put some words on the page and make 'em funny
Five days to revise the tune, get it
Close to perfection, shoot for the moon, and
Three days to rehearse the song
I won't make a fool of myself when I sing it
Saturday -- it'll all be done,
But for now I just pray for the act of creation.

Hold it now, I've got a notion,
What about the ocean,
I'll write a filk about Aquaman,
That's sort of right, out of sight, but if I'm gonna work all
night I prob'ly better do the dishes, wash the frying pan
Crap! I forgot to pay the phone bill,
Maybe there's time still,
At least I wasn't late with last month's,
This lyric isn't working--
Dinner at Burger King,
then I'll start over with some bad puns.

G'nna try a different point of view,
I'll write about a genie who
would rather lay low than come out granting wishes
Wait a minute, how'bout this instead:
a talking head, a slice of bread,
a -- where'm I going with this? I gotta wash the dishes.

How can I help it if my brain can't think of anything
A lot of good that'll do me at the filksing
I'm not a fellow who's proficient with a lyric
Can't understand what I mean when you hear it
I get distracted when I'm trying to concentrate
My train of thought is so easily derailed,

I've got
One week left to write this filk
Anyone would agree, I must be crazy
Five days, get the lyrics right,
I've still got a chance to make someone's night, I've got
Three days left for practice now
I'm always forgetting words, but I never know how
Saturday -- it'll all be done,
But for now I just pray for some inspiration.

How'bout Cthulhu, for parodyin'?
I never read anything Lovecraftian
Probably that wouldn't fly well
but I could try -- well,
I'll try to think of something else then
I've always been good at doing Star Trek,
But like a card trick,
It's kind of boring if there's too much
But damn I've gotta think of something
Even a dumb thing
Without it I won't get to do much

Whatabout a song of the undead or monsters underneath your bed
or maybe something with political connections
Whatabout a song like, I don't know, a funny glow that makes you grow
till you blow up in multiple directions?

How can I help it if my brain can't think of anything
A lot of good that'll do me at the filksing
I'm not a fellow who's proficient with a lyric
Can't understand what I mean when you hear it
I get distracted when I'm trying to concentrate
I think I've missed my train of thought completely,

I've got
One week left to write this filk
Won't do me any good to be sorry
Five days, let it bake a bit, I know
When I get through I'll hate the very sight of it
Three days, get the dishes clean,
This writer's block is breaking up my routine
Saturday, it'll all be done
but for now I just pray for that destination
but for now I just pray for that destination

Cassiopeia's a cool constellation

Hell of a way to waste my vacation