Return to Song Index

What's Your Sign?

Music and lyrics copyright ©2004 by Blake Hodgetts

This song is just a logical conclusion.

The Tauruses will get the sack next Tuesday;
"A change at work" is written in their fates.
I hope you don't have friends
Who are Sagittarians,
especially if they've Pisceans for mates.
I guess there'll be a line down at the courthouse
Dissolving unions frowned on by the stars...
But getting downtown won't be very easy all this week,
And we can thank the Aries drivers and their cars.

You know, I hear that things are somewhat different
Since the horoscope was proven to be true.
It's awfully nice to know,
However my day should go,
It will be the same for 8.333 percent of you...
I can't imagine how they must have managed
Without the stars to keep their lives in line!
I'm glad that I am living in these most auspicious days.
Good morning; nice to meet you; what's your sign?

It's another run of bad luck for the Geminis --
For every one, the loss of someone dear.
But half of them that's gorn,
They must be Capricorn:
They're due to have their worst week of the year.
Insurers hate it, but they're bound to cover:
It's not a fellow's fault what month he's born.
And everyone remembers when the Leos lost that lawsuit
All because they treated Scorpios with scorn.

You know, I hear that things are somewhat different
Since it turned out that the horoscope was right.
I never feel singled out,
For happily, there's no doubt
That one out of twelve is having luck as bad as mine each night!
I can't imagine how they must have managed
Without the stars to keep their lives in line!
I'm glad that I am living in these most celestial days.
Good afternoon; how are you; what's your sign?

Of course, the schedule isn't bad for everyone:
For some folks, it's their turn to be enriched.
It seems that each Aquarian
Has found it's time for marryin',
As have the Librans -- guess who's getting hitched?
It doesn't matter whether they deserve it:
The Virgos all are marked to get a raise.
And Cancers won the lottery, but it's not how it used to be:
We've got to split it ninety thousand ways.

You know, I hear that things are somewhat different
Since the horoscope, we found, was really so.
Is life getting too complex?
How simple the stars' effects!
There's only a dozen different ways that everything can go!
I can't imagine how they must have managed
Without the stars to keep their lives in line!
I'm glad that I am living in these most prophetic days.
Good evening; glad to meet you; what's your sign?